My life has been a bit of a whirlwind. Words have been both friends and enemies and cancer is just AWFUL. My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 bladder cancer shortly before his birthday in February. It’s been quite a roller coaster. A shock to both our systems and there are ‘daze’. Literally days where I find myself engulfed in the throws of chemo and statistics and a man that faintly resembles my father. In a way it’s been a blessing. I never realized how much I loved him until cancer showed up. I’ve had to question my existence, my ‘who am I with my parents’ mode as my mother has had health issues as well. There are some days I feel less artist more child. I’m learning to juggle both and to FEEL, without any distractions are external meditation on comfort food or any other vices.
One of my favorite motivational speakers once said, pain means to Pay Attention Inward Now. Cancer has certainly gotten mine. In this moment I have come to conclusion that I can choose to believe cancer or God, and personally for me. I choose God. Goodnight.